Her Reasons (Won't) Die in the Dark
by TheRoseShadow21
Summary: 'She keeps a hairband in her pocket.' One-sided rarepair shipping based on the 'So gallant. I can't snatch that away from her' line from Ch159 of the manga. One-shot, very much a drabble. (Rated T to be safe.)


**((When planning this, I was working with the title 'Her Reasons (Don't) Die in the Dark', but figured that '(Won't)' fitted a lot better. So that's what I went with in the end. ))**

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She keeps a hairband in her pocket.

Taken in isolation from the girl herself, that isn't such an odd thing. A hairband is made for tying hair, and hers is reasonably long enough that it's natural to assume she'd want to tie it back sometimes.

But she's always been the type of girl that likes to feel the breeze in her hair. She might use clips or an Alice band to keep some of it from whipping her eyes in said breeze, but to tie it back, and deprive herself of that simple pleasure? Oh, she'd never do that.

So? Why does she have a hairband in her pocket?

Perhaps it would help to know that actually, it isn't her hairband. The person whom the hairband belongs to happened to drop it. And she happened to be in the right place at the right time to see it, and pick it up. And then she put it in her pocket with a secret smile, and it's been there ever since. That person, the one who originally owned the hairband, happens to be someone who habitually carries around a lot of hairbands, and so they didn't miss this single one. So it isn't as if she deprived that person of something important, in keeping this hairband in her pocket.

And yet again, the same question comes around: why does she have this hairband in her pocket?

She's a girl who likes to feel the breeze in her hair. In a way, she's a breeze herself. She is nonchalant and extravagant all at the same time and boredom isn't something she accepts, not even slightly.

And this hairband, it's not particularly distinctive, or special. It's just a simple, plain black hairband. It's boring. Not something that she'd pick out, if she was the type to tie her hair back. So logically, it doesn't make sense for her to have this hairband in her pocket.

But she does have this hairband in her pocket. That fact hasn't changed.

And if someone knew about it, they might wonder, why? So many different 'whys'. Why she clings to this hairband so tightly. Why she picked it up in the first place. Why she keeps it in her pocket, a place where only she knows of it. Why she always goes for the pocket that's on the inside of whatever she wears on a given day, the pocket that keeps the hairband closest to her skin. And most importantly, why she only lets it out into her light when she is alone with the darkness of her mind. Why this hairband, of all things, is the secret she sits on the most securely.

Maybe the answer is in the fact that the hairband once belonged to someone else.

Possibly it would narrow things down further to know that this person is a boy, a classmate of hers.

He isn't anything near boring either- as it happens, he's quite distinctive.

And he's diminutive too, which tickles her sense of humour.

It would definitely clarify things to know that they have a good connection, and have had one for a while.

The fact that they've been through a lot of difficult and painful things together as a result of being in the same class solidifies this fact.

She enjoys teasing him because of his diminutive distinctiveness, which would fit in with what is known with this golden breeze of a girl.

But it's important to consider she knows some of the saddest parts of his existence, and she has always felt bad when she's accidentally trodden over these things with her words.

Yet despite this, he has always forgiven her unconditionally.

Another thing to weigh up is that his eyes, they have the same fragments of trapped sky that hers hold.

So it wouldn't be too odd to think that in some way, she sees herself in him, that bits of him have snuggled their way into her crevices, unseen.

Because for all her nonchalance, she actually has things she aspires too, that she strives towards.

As it happens, he does, too.

However, that doesn't mean they are all that similar, so don't make that mistake.

No, no, they are very, very different, for she is the breeze and he is the sea and that's fine with her because she is perfectly fine with her own identity and always will be.

It's no surprise that others apart from her are drawn to this boy, this being of the sea.

And yet, it would be a surprise that even now, she sits back and lets it happen, over and over.

It's would be even more surprising to know that she's seemingly fine with that, too.

Of course, she isn't really.

To believe otherwise would be silly, but she continues on in that vein nonetheless.

For although she is casual and cheeky, this breeze girl, she isn't as ungallant as to snatch away the dreams held by others.

These things, all these things, they are truths about who she is, and what she thinks, and how she feels. They are aspects of this golden breeze of a girl, every single one of these things. This cannot be avoided, or denied. But, it cannot be said that these things couldn't also reasonably be seen as reasons. As reasons, and answers too, for why she has that hairband in her pocket, why she keeps it in the pocket that's always closest to her skin. Why she doesn't tell anyone about it and only ever takes it out when she's alone.

Oh, yes, all these things could be seen as explanations for the mystery she represents in keeping a hold of this hairband. And certainly, it helps to know them. But are they really needed as answers? Are they really needed?

No, they aren't really needed. All that needs to be known is that she has a hairband in her pocket.

And that it remains there.

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 **Well...this...this was kind of difficult to write, in the end. Though I am classifying this as 'angst', Rio really isn't angsty. She's bright and casual and cool. But she is definitely contemplative, and knows remorse and guilt and other things that belong in the 'dark'. So even though this isn't her POV as such, I needed to strike the right balance between her different facets without making it all too maudlin. And in the end, I think I passed at that. I hope.**

 **As for whether this gives any good insight into the possibility that Rio does have feelings for Nagisa...well, I'll just defer to the judgements of you readers. In truth, I'm not sure if I ship them. Well, not in the same way I ship Chiba/Hayami or Karma/Manami. It's not as if I haven't shipped rarepairs before- the two most recent examples I can think of are Kousei/Emi from KimiUso and Ratio/Chiyuu from Hamatora. But those rarepairs are ones I ship in a very 'complete' way and the same just isn't true for the Rio/Nagisa pairing, if that makes sense. It would take an author's note longer than the one-shot itself to explain myself, but perhaps if you indulge my ego and leave a discussion starter/ question about it in a review/PM/my Tumblr ask box, then I'll happily explain/explore it more.**

 **But anyway, I enjoyed writing this, and I hope you enjoyed reading it! Please leave feedback!**

 **((A note about the story title- My inspiration came from this quote:** **'It is impossible to say why we love something or someone. We can come up with reasons if we have to, but the important part happens in the dark, beyond our control. We just know when it is there. And when it goes away.' It is from the book 'Little Star' by John Ajvide Lindqvist. He's a good author if you're into horror. I'm not, so much, but I enjoyed that book.))**


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